One of the best thing that has happened to me was having Arielle in my life. Ohhh definitely brings the utmost joy to my life now but that doesn't mean it was smooth sailing. Worth it? Definitely without a doubt. Drove me crazy for 8 months? I'd be lying if I said no. There were points where I thought I was going crazy as well. Being pregnant was not only physically draining, its emotionally draining at the same time. People often ask me; How's the preggers life treating you? And trust me, one minute it can be an amazing experience and the next minute it can tear you down in tears.
1. Mood Swings
Monthly PMS is the best example, but magnify it about 10times crazier and stretch it for 9 months long. Thats how "bipolar" I felt. I wake up in the morning feeling amazing and literally 5 minutes later I feel like the most horrible person in the world. To the point where I would just cry to feel better and this can repeat a few times in a day (on a bad day). Its draining. Happened most during the first trimester and the third trimester.
There are days I would go shopping and I'll be tearing while looking at clothes. IMAGINE THAT. Sounds crazy, hence why I thought I was going crazy. During my 3rd trimester my stomach and boobs grew so big (so damn big) I couldn't fit into my clothes at home and i refused to buy new clothes. Why? Because I couldnt buy S size anymore, because it JUST WOULDN'T FIT! And it just made me so depressed. I also didn't want to waste money buying an M or an L size because I wouldn't wear them after I give birth (so determined to lose weight after). I know, I know you must be thinking "you're pregnant, of course you can't fit, because there's a baby growing in me". Trust me, I am very well aware that theres a baby growing in me and therefore I too must grow but the emotions were just overwhelming even though I kept reasoning with myself in my head a million times over. HORMONES.
How I controlled it? Well, I don't think I actually controlled it well. I cried, laughed, sobbed, angered whenever I needed to; to whoever that would listen to me. Of course John got it the most. Poor thing. But I do remember during times I was aware of my mood swings I'd rather be/try to be alone and calm myself down before talking to anyone. I'd reason with myself and say, "Carmen, I know you look like a hippo but Arielle's gonna be beautiful and you're gonna be a hot mama after you give birth. Just tolerate awhile longer."
Men, if your wives are going through mood swings as bad as I did during my first pregnancy please please please be a little more patient with them. There's just so many changes going on in her body that she really cannot control. Hormone changes isn't something she can control. It isn't something mental, it's actual chemical reactions that are going on in her body prepping to growth the seed of your love. Her body changes in so many ways, its gonna shock her as well. Internally, her body is working so hard to protect the child even when she's not aware of it. She's tired, so just be there. Love her and tell her she's beautiful. Tell her you're proud that she's such a tough person. Your words of encouragement goes a long long long way. Long enough to give her a beautiful 9 months.
2. Vomiting
Let's just say vomiting was bad for the first trimester. I vomited at almost every meal; the bigger the meal, the more the vomiting and it wasn't helping when all my cravings was at its peak! But that's already the easy part; vomiting food. When there's nothing left to vomit and I still feel like vomiting, thats when it gets really bad; I vomit bile instead. Greenish bitter fluid; one taste of that and the vomiting just gets worst. Not to mention it hurts the throat so badly (acidic).
My throat was so sore I started vomiting streaks of blood with bile. That was when I was admitted into the hospital for drips because I just couldn't swallow anything. Tough times, but once 1st trimester was over, the vomiting was gone. MAGIC (more like crazy pregnancy nonsense).
How to ease it?
CRACKERS! Keep em crackers with you wherever you go. Once you feel like vomiting, chomp on one. MAGIC AGAIN. Best are those salty ones, (I took Ritz). But if you have to vomit anyway, suck on ice after vomiting. Eases the throat.
3. Stretch Marks
Some lucky people have no problems with stretch marks at all! Unfortunately, I'm not as lucky. It started to appear during my 3rd trimester, started on my thighs then my butt, my stomach and my boobs! When I was admitted into the hospital, I manage to catch up with other pregnant woman that was at the waiting area. When it was their turn to scan their tummy, they lifted their shirt and their stretch marks were all over the stomach. ALL OVER! (Government hospital = not much privacy = everyone sees everyone) Like a watermelon with many many many lines all over them. To be honest, it scared me quite a lil because mine just appeared at one spot on my tummy, say 4/5 lines at most? I never knew it could get so bad. I went home and immediately spammed myself with stretch marks gel after. Hahahhaa.
How to avoid it?
I don't think it can be avoided. The most you can do is to apply the stretch marks cream as many times as possible in a day. Best done after a bath/shower. Looking at my marks now, I actually feel quite proud of them. Its like my battle scars; some people wish to be in my position so why should I be complaining.
4. Itchiness
Comparing all the pregnancy issues, I think the itchiness got the worst of me. I would rather vomit a few times a day for 9months than going through the itchiness for 1 month. I don't know why was there itchiness, I don't know why it happens during pregnancies, I don't know what causes it and I sure as hell don't know how to ease it or take it away. If I did, I would go all out to take it away. It drove me nuts. I read online that there are many pregnant women who go through the same issue, some would find relief in taking a cold bath, some would find relief in taking an oat bath, some find relief in applying lots and lots of lotion but I found relief in nothing. The itchiness was so bad, especially bad in my palms, feet, fingers, toes, neck, scalp and my tongue. YES MY TONGUE. And the itchiness wasn't just on the surface of the skin, it felt as though my bones were the one that was itching. UGH, thinking about it now gives me shivers. I was scratching every minute. Even in my sleep I would be scratching. I would wake up with marks and wounds all over me.
How to get rid of it?
BIRTH. hahahaha the minute I went into labour, the itchiness went away. So you just have to tolerate!
(I just realised how wordy and lengthy this post is. But oh well).
THEN CAME THE BIG DAY!
Which was not expected at all cause I wasn't even 8 months when it happened. I was only 7months and 3 weeks.
1.00PM
Anyway, on 21st November 2014 about 12.00pm plus nearing 1.00pm I was having this stabbing pain in the NECK. YES THE NECK. It was horrible, I couldn't ease the pain, not with a heating pack, not with an ice pack, not with massage ointment, not by lying down, I couldn't even feel better with chocolate. It was similar to stiff neck kinda discomfort but it hurts even when I didn't move. The worst part was, John was away for work so I had to deal with the pain alone (a massage would have been good at that point).
4.00PM
The pain went down to my upper back. I remember telling myself, "Good Job Carmen, you've just made it worst by trying to fix the neck pain". I tried to sleep, tried taking hot baths, cold baths to ease the pain but nothing really worked.
5.00PM
My whole back started to hurt. I was in such a desperate situation I couldn't do anything else but cry. I remember I was in bed crying and praying at the same time. How bad was the pain? I give it a 4/10. Yes, it wasn't excruciating pain and it was definitely tolerable. The point was the pain didn't go away, it didn't ease at all and the thought of bearing this pain for another 5 weeks just broke me down. I remember asking myself "How am i going to last another 5 weeks in such pain".
6.00PM
John came home from work and I was still crying. I felt like a child, I cried in his arm and said "I really need you here" (or I really needed a massage). He comforted me, massaged me and I did feel a slight bit better. Not sure if it was in the mind but wtv comfort at that point was helping.
He asked me if I wanted to go see the doctor. Now, here's the thing, my next gyne check up was on the next morning itself. I thought I'll just hold on a lil longer till my check up the next morning (which is in another few hours) and ask him for some painkillers or any form of relief he can offer me. So I told John I'll just wait till the morning.
7.00PM
My mother in law cooked dinner for me. I remember I ate Mee Sua (last meal during my pregnancy). I took a long hot shower after and tried to sleep. I felt a lil better, managed to catch a short nap as well.
8.30PM
The pain came back and I was tearing up all over again.
9.30PM
The pain came to my chest now. Breathing was alright though. Just an aching feeling in my chest. I continued to tell myself "few more hours, a few more hours and I'll be seeing the gyne".
10.00PM
The pain travelled again. Pain went down below my ribcage which scared me a lil because it was where my placenta was. I remember my gyne telling me before if I feel any pain or discomfort there I must go to the hospital immediately to get it check (because of hypertension and my placenta may detach). I told John and we immediately left the house for the hospital.
I told them about my pain and they immediately strapped on the "baby heartbeat machine" (don't know whats the name of it) and the nurse said, "You're having contractions every 4 minutes, why did you take so long to come in".
WHATTTT!!!! CONTRACTIONS?! HOW ON EARTH WOULD I KNOW CONTRACTIONS STARTS FROM THE NECK MAKING ITS WAY DOWN!!! I didn't know how to answer her or react. I WASN'T READY TO GIVE BIRTH! I WASN'T MENTALLY PREPARED!
So conclusion was, I was having labour pain from 1.00PM in the afternoon and found out only at 10.30PM at night. Never have I felt so noob in my life. I came in only to check the pain, NOT TO GIVE BIRTH! I panicked, I was happy, I was scared, I was relieved, I was scared, I was excited, I WAS SCARED!
Then the nurse said she'll have to confirm with the doctor if I'm healthy or the baby is healthy enough to be delivered. My gyne came in after a while and confirmed my delivery. Thats when everything flew by, he gave me a few jabs to ease the pain and to help me sleep.
BURSTING THE WATER BAG.
I always imagined my water bag will break at the most embarrassing time (in public) where it would seem like I've urinated all over. hahahaha it would be quite an experience. But instead my gyne did it manually with a long plastic stick. How? Yea, it was inserted in my vagina and POP! No feeling, no pain, just POP! and warm liquid (slightly bloody) flowed out. No it did not feel like pee, it just felt like a gush of warm water flowing out non stop. ALOT ALOT ALOT of liquid. Who knew my stomach was actually storing so much liquid!
11.00PM
John contacted my parents and obviously they were so excited, my whole family came immediately. But I couldn't see them anyway. I had a pee bag attached to me, drips attached on me and I wasn't allowed to walk anywhere because my body was still producing amniotic fluid to keep the baby moist and if i moved too much, I'd leak and probably leave a snail trail wherever I go.
2.00AM
The contraction became stronger and I was 6cm dilated. The painkillers were almost useless at this point. I was still drowsy when the pain wasn't there, but when the pain came I WAS AWAKE! Still about 4 minutes per contraction still.
4.00AM
I was still 6cm dilated. Felt like forever!
What does contraction feel like? It feels like I need to poop but you're just not allowed to poop. Intense and painful pooping feeling!!! The contractions were so strong that I was having cold sweat and was grabbing on to the sides of the bed (more like clawing into it).
4.30AM
I was STILL at 6cm. But baby's heart beat was dropping with every contraction I have; which was dangerous for her. So the gyne told me he will schedule me for an emergency c-sec immediately. I was quite happy to hear that cause the contractions was just getting too painful and I just wouldn't dilate anymore.
4.50AM
I was in the operating theatre. ALONE. (John wasn't allowed to go in somehow). I was nervous and excited at the same time but mostly relief because they've already given me the jab to numb my body (below breast onwards). When the operation started I couldn't feel a thing. I was emotionally drained at that point I just wanted to rest and sleep. I was thinking to myself while they were cutting into me, "No wonder I felt so emotional today and I kept crying". Some people say your emotions are usually all over the place when you're ready to give birth. Its like your body goes into shock.
How was the operation?
No pain at all. I felt a lot of tugging, pulling, yanking.
5.03AM
CRIES!!! I HEARD HER CRY FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME! They brought her to me, she had whitish fluid all over her (like in the picture above; its actually wax). They showed me that she's a girl, counted her fingers and toes for me, showed me her tag number, showed me her birth mark and I managed to kiss her a few times before they brought her out to see John.
-She was really red when she came out-
Taking Arielle out was a speedy process but sewing me back up took about 45minutes to an hour. I fell asleep half way until I was ready to be pushed out. I was being monitored outside the theatre for about an hour or so. John was allowed to be with me. He showed me a few pictures he took of baby when the nurses brought her out to him. I swear she is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I couldn't believe she came out of me. I fell asleep again and next thing I knew I was in my ward.
Motherhood is a whole different/eye opening experience. Maybe I'll find a story to write about motherhood later on.
Now being pregnant with Isaiah is also a whole new chapter to write about. But lets just say that this pregnancy is treating me well for now; 7months on and it has been an easy easy pregnancy. No vomiting, no itchiness, no mood swings, appetite is well. Everything is actually pretty normal except that my tummy is growing really really big. Who knows how and when I would get into labour this time. That'll be another story to tell later on =)
-"Children are a gift from the LORD, they are a reward from Him" Psalm 127:3-
2 comments:
Well as girls we weren't told contractions starts from the neck!!! Like what?! Hahaha!
Hahahahhaha weird right! Who knew! But i guess everyone has their own experience la. Hahhaha mine was just different/weird.
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