Time Flies

I've had her inside me for 8 months and held her in my arms for 9 months now. If you ask me, I don't think she has grown one bit. Thats because she's still my lil baby girl. But when I look back at her baby pictures, its only then realise how much she has actually grown and it scares me a lil because she's just growing up wayyyy toooo fast! I guess the saying, "time flies when you're enjoying yourself" is true.

How's motherhood been treating me?

Definitely eye opening! 

There are definitely ups and downs throughout the whole process. After all, I'm still considered quite new at this. Of course its an exhausting period; the need to change her nappy constantly, the need to attend to each tiny noise she makes, the need to attend to her when she's been too quiet, the need to be there at her every waking hour; I will not lie, IT IS TIRING! But at the end of the day when she falls asleep and smiles in her sleep; I know its because she's had a good day or when she smiles the very moment she sees me; I know its because I give her that comfort and security she needs or when she cries and calls mama; I know its because she needs me. Its all the tiring moments that adds up to these blessed moments. Nothing in the world is more satisfying than knowing she's safe and happy. So yes, I'm tired at times but she's my pride, my joy and she's worth every ounce of my energy.

There are days she makes my heart skip a beat and I'm not saying it in a good way. Its like she gives me mini heart attacks! There was one time she was choking on her own mucus and she couldn't breath. I swear at that moment I panicked from my head all the way down to the tip of my toes and my mind was in so much shock I didn't know what to do! Well, thank God my mum was there and she knew what to do. BAM, SHE FLIPPED HER OVER AND WHACKED ARIELLE'S BACK UNTIL SHE STARTED CRYING! Crying is good, crying means she's breathing again. I cried for a good 15 minutes after she was better; still in shock. After that incident, I couldn't even sleep properly because I was so scared she'll choke in her sleep.

It also breaks my heart to know when she's sick. Especially when she has the flu. She can't sleep well, can't drink well, can't even play well. Babies can't take meds like us to ease the sickness, they just have to suck it up and let it heal by itself. Poor things. Hahaha but there is a way to ease their nose blockage; suck it out for them. Yup, we used our mouths at the beginning before we found out about the nose sucking machine for babies. Sounds disgusting right, but when your child is suffering this way, you will do almost anything to take away their suffering.

So I was going through my photo library and decided to put some of her pictures up on my blog. And also to show you how much she's grown throughout these 9 months!

Proud mother showing off her daughter now!

 During the first few days after she was discharged from the hospital. She wasn't allowed to be discharged the same time as I did due to high level of jaundice. Poor girl, broke my heart to know that she'll be staying in the hospital for a few more nights without me there. This heart break is nothing compared to any heartbreaks I've ever felt in my life. Felt as though they took a part of me away. I guess in a way its quite literal, she has been a part of me for 8 long months anyway and suddenly being away from her makes me feel empty.

 Chubby cheeks

 Yes, she was born with that amount of hair. Pretty sure the hair genes are from the father. 

 The first day I took her out! After being stuck at home for almost 28days (confinement), it was good being out again. Yes, I'm huge. Lets be honest here, pregnancy isn't exactly the most glamorous period for a woman. Cravings are almost unstoppable, em' boobs grow to the size of cow's udders, and you practically grow every part of your body. I started my pregnancy at 48kgs and when I gave birth to Arielle I went all the way up to 64kgs. (not proud and not good). I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at 6months and borderline hypertension at the end of 7 months. Despite all the complications, I managed to give birth to a healthy (premature) baby and I was at the pinkest of health as well. After 3 months, I shot down to 55kgs (still not ideal) and the weight was stuck there. I couldn't lose anymore (sadly)!

and now, I can't afford to lose more weight! Well, because.... I'M PREGNANT AGAIN! (what a bunny right?)

 Let's not get side tracked...
Thats us sleeping. She used to be able to fall asleep beside me this way. Now, well, she prefers to wake me up by digging into my nose, mouth and eyes until I talk to her.

I was so excited for chinese new year this year. Haha mainly because I wanted to doll her up in the lil cheong sam that she has. She looks so cina in this picture.

Most peaceful moments are the times I watch her sleep. Yea she dreams, but I honestly have no idea what she dreams about. 

Tiny grape like toes

Took her for a first holiday to Avillion Port Dickson. I guess she enjoyed her trip; just look at that smile.

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And then she grew, and grew and grew. 

This was when she just started sitting up by herself without falling over and hitting her face

My sunshine

"Whats going on mummy"

"Why are you doing this mummy?"

As a stay home mum, these are the things we do together.

Now she's all big and beautiful. Fitting into dresses and looking more like a lady

or sometimes a boy. Still pulling off the look amazingly well.

Poses really well too

But overall, still that lil cheeky girl at the end of the day

loves eating chocolate

Overall, despite all the nappy changing, crying nights, vomiting, endless saliva droppings, I wouldn't trade this for all the richness in the world. Its a blessing to be a mother to this beautiful girl. She has brought the kind of joy that makes me glow from the inside. She makes me smile just by looking at her. I never knew how unconditional love can be until I held her in my arms.

Getting side tracked again, YES I'M PREGNANT... again. I just passed 5 months and my tummy is pretty huge already. I'm sure some of you are thinking, "it'll be nice to have a boy this time right" and YESSSS I AM HAVING A BABY BOY THIS TIME ROUND! What a blessing right. I'll be closing the factories after this. Time for the mummy to have a good rest although I don't know if i'll be getting any since I have two lil active kids to look after now. But the body definitely needs some rest.

Pregnancy this time round has been smooth sailing. No vomiting, no morning sickness, no super sensitive nose. In fact, I've been rather active! Nesting has taken up a notch. (Nesting; the need to clean the house). I've been clearing, cleaning, packing, washing, preparing ever since I got pregnant and I actually enjoy it. Very satisfying! Of course I'm not a superwoman, I have my lazy days as well; days I just curl up in bed with my laptop and enjoy my drama all day long.

I've planned to deliver through c-sec this time. During my pregnancy with Arielle, I was attempting natural birth but due to some complications I was rushed into an emergency c-sec. So now, i'm just gonna save all the trouble (and money) and choose c-sec from the very beginning. 

ISAIAH LOW!

YES, thats his name =)

Whoever is reading this, please pray for the rest of my pregnancy, a smooth delivery and a healthy baby. Thank you!

-Everything I want the world to be is now coming true especially for me and the reason is clear. Its because you are here. You're the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen. Mummy loves the both of you very much-